Wife, writer, tinkerer, grower of food. I'm happiest outside our rambling farmhouse with a basket looped on my arm, picking dinner from the garden. That's joy right there. Please follow along; I'm so glad you're here!
I'm a-gonna get misty here a minute, folks. Bear with me.
I can't remember. I can't remember what life was like without this guy. I don't know where my smiles came from, back then, or what I did on summer evenings, alone in the house, other than take him outside and play tug-of-war. I don't remember life before his ridiculous post-bathtime prancing, before petting his wrinkly head and watching the emotions move behind his eyes, before feeling his sweet nose-whiskers leaning in when I sit on the floor to stretch. I don't even remember what I did before I had someone to shush for barking at the smoke detector, or someone to feel guilty about leaving for ten minutes to check the mail.
I am sorry, to every other dog I've ever known, but I've never loved a dog like this.
And he doesn't know. He has no idea. He's taken up this space in our life, in our hearts, and he knows he is loved, certainly, but he doesn't know all these changes he's made and what they mean and how he makes us feel. And he doesn't know how things will change-- collapse, really-- when he's gone someday.
Okay, maybe I didn't need to go there. But a very bad day-- maybe the worst day of my life-- is still so fresh in my mind. I need to go there, sometimes. It helps me to be present. It helps me to never take a single thing for granted.
The end. Year one with Delmer is in the books, and what a wonderful, rich, funny, proud year it has been. We are blessed.
Phew. In other news-- there is a lot of other news, which is why I am posting on a Tuesday. Tomorrow morning I will be fully engaged in floor-scrubbing as Patrick drives the truck and trailer out to Delhi, to my dad's shop, and as they carefully caravan their way back loaded with MY NEW CABINETS. Cue happy dolphin noises. Today I petted green soapstone that may turn out to be our new countertops. We had initially planned on doing concrete countertops ourselves, but, friends, we have been engaged in reno now for OVER FIVE FREAKING MONTHS. (Remember where it all began? January 13!!!) Anything else we can spare ourselves from doing ourselves, we are going to do. We want to write a check and be done.
Soon, maybe by the end of the month, we are going to write a check and be done. For now, we I am living in the excitement of Christmas morning and the night before my wedding all rolled into one. I can't WAIT to share.