Thursday, April 2, 2009

My husband, a creature of habit

My husband is nothing if not consistent. Every morning, he has a medium hazlenut coffee and a bran muffin. He comes home from work to brush his teeth after lunch. When groceries are needed, there is one store at which they are purchased. When wine is drunk, it's red and Spanish. And when clothes are taken out and unfolded and put on, they are usually jeans and a polo shirt.

The jeans are medium-blue, and boot cut. The polo shirts are blue, green, or brown. The predictable result of so much consistency is, naturally, that Patrick's shopping habits boil down to twice-yearly trips to JC Penney's, where approximately two pairs of jeans, and no less than four polo shirts are purchased. Thus his wardrobe is provisioned.

The other predictable result is, with such regular and constant use, the polo shirts wear out. Over the course of several months, there is the slow creep of frayed threads, pinholes, and ragged collars. Eventually, the threshold is crossed, and the Resourceful Wife (that's me) stealthily removes the battered shirt from the Consistent Husband's laundry pile, and squirrels it away in her craft room. If he notices they're gone, he never lets on.

One polo shirt yields eighteen 6 x 6 squares. Five shirts made this blanket.
I suppose the wearabouts of his worn-out shirts will become all too obvious when he sees this, eh? Oh well.



5 comments:

1207183703s11854 said...

Hilarious! I, too, have a Consistent Husband named Patrick. He shops (once every two years) for two pairs of pants in two tones of brown and collar-less, jersey shirts. I'm going to have to use the shirts to make some baby pants. Love the throw!

Deelish Dish said...

Um, that is SO cool! I friggin wish I hadn't thrown out all the beau's old shirts! And I also wish I knew how to sew...darn it all over the place!

Kristina said...

Maybe all Patricks are consistent? Do we have any empirical evidence to back this up?

Oh, there are many fine uses for worn out shirts-- clothespin bags, blankets, rags...

Amber said...

Fabulous! I have two husband-cast-off-piles (t-shirts and polos) both of which are destined to become quilts.

PS - Thanks for visiting my blog. :)

Kristina said...

Hi Amber-- I've been wanting to try a t-shirt quilt for awhile now. We're both sort of past the t-shirt phase of our lives. All the same, though, we have lots of old favorites from high school and college we couldn't bear to part with.

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